When introducing myself I am often interrupted. I begin by saying, “I am the director of The Center for Abundant Aging and we seek to…”
At this point, the other person often interrupts, “Abundant Aging? I’ve never heard that before.” So I let those two words roll around in their head for a bit as the newness and strangeness of them tied together begins to take hold.
So much of our culture’s narrative about aging has to do with diminishment, decline and scarcity. So, thinking about having more than enough, or abundance, in aging and framing that as a positive reference is usually new to them. If they ask what we mean by that, I share that given the demographic gift of longer lives, most of us will have more time to live or to age. There are more people, an abundance of people, who are enjoying longer lives. And there is far more to celebrate in later life than we ever thought possible. So, abundant aging includes having more time, more people experiencing that extra time and more opportunities to deepen and grow with our aging process.
Being Authentically Oneself
Some of the aspects of abundant aging that I value include having the opportunity to age as my authentic self, remembering that we are all created in the image of the Creator. In the infinite wisdom of the Creator, no two of us are alike. As we age, we are more diverse than at any other time in our lives. No longer are we going through predictable developmental stages at the same time as we did in our childhood and youth. Instead, each of our individual choices and decisions, experiences and lessons, lead us along paths that cross and connect, but which also diverge. To be present with each other as authentic people requires having respect for each other’s experience. It is grounded in the compassion that comes when we recognize our differences even as we observe our common humanity.
Having Autonomy
Speaking of life choices, having agency or autonomy is another aspect of abundant aging. One of the basic aspects of what it means to be human is the ability to think reasonably about the options facing us and our communities. Our intellectual abilities are influenced by the lessons learned from previous experiences and the values that we hold most dear. Additionally, intuition and emotional and behavioral patterns affect the choices we make. More importantly, we must be able to make choices throughout our entire life. From mundane choices such as what to wear or what to eat to more significant choices such as the type of care we expect when we are physically ill or in planning for our possessions following our death, having choices is an important, necessary, healthy aspect of our mental and spiritual well-being.
Achievements Large and Small
Abundant aging also includes the power to set and achieve goals. When we plan a menu, we prepare and purchase the ingredients on the shopping list and then create the meal, we achieve an everyday task. We can also have a sense of achievement when we learn something new, such as following a YouTube video on how to paint a landscape. Regardless of the outcome, we can feel a sense of achievement in attempting a new skill. We have either achieved what we set out to accomplish or we can learn from the experience and try different techniques or experiments next time. Having a sense of accomplishment when we do those things for which we have skill and knowledge mastery are as important as beginning a new thing. The achievement is not in the outcome of the task that is completed, but it comes in the sense of accomplishment in making the attempt.
Connected Community
As we age, it is as important as ever to be connected to a community where we know we belong and are loved. This community can include the formal organizations around us, but it also includes our family and friends. For some who are later in life, there is a desire to keep connected with fewer close friends. But it is still important for them to know that they belong. Others continue to be energized through many relationships with people in various stages of life. It is not the number of people or the similarity or differences between them, but how we choose to affiliate with others that can affect the quality of our mental, physical, social and spiritual health. When we belong, we know that our lives matter to those who are a part of our network or community.
Connections are as much about giving as it is in receiving. As we live longer lives, we have more time and experience to build wisdom which includes both the “letting go” and “letting come” of giving and receiving. Wisdom comes as we reflect through our experience and as we let go of our ego expectations that play sharply in middle life. As we release expectations, we can open ourselves to new perspectives and observations. And curiosity can be an amazing way to open ourselves to these new perspectives and observations.
As our physical body changes, we have the opportunity and often the necessity of inviting others into our lives as we ask for support. This means that those who age abundantly have the opportunity to ask for the help and support they need—even when that help is for things that previously could have been completed without thinking. By inviting others to assist us, we create opportunities for new dimensions of service and ways to be in relationship.
Aging Abundantly is a creative process that is a bit different for everyone. It requires the ability to approach the changes that come in later life with curiosity to discover a new depth of life. It also invites us to embrace that aging is a process created by God. Later life is not a disease, but it is a divine gift. That my experience of abundance may be different from yours does not matter. What does matter for aging abundantly is that we can continue to learn and grow more fully through our relationships into the wisdom offered us all through the years. May we all age abundantly!
For Reflection (either individually or with a group)
Read the blog. Read it again, maybe aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Invite the Divine to open your heart to allow the light of new understanding to pierce the shadows of embedded assumptions, stereotypes, and ways of thinking so that you may live more abundantly.
- For you, what does abundant aging mean?
- The author writes, “there is far more to celebrate in later life than we ever thought possible”. What about living into later life, might you celebrate?
- Name three values most important to you as you age.
- What can you do to develop a greater curiosity about life?
Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group.
