Right before I went into the Labor and Delivery Room, my brother Mark texted me this message, “Remember this is a sacred moment. Open your heart and take this in.” And then, I walked into the room where my daughter-in-law Yoly was in labor. My son Tim and Yoly’s mother Wanda gave me a hug, I kissed Yoly’s forehead and we waited for the contractions to do their work to dilate the cervix.
The magic number is 10 centimeters, which is how much a cervix must be dilated before a baby can be born. Yoly was only at three centimeters so we all settled in to wait while the nurses bustled in and out. But we settled in too soon, as it wasn’t long before a nurse performing a routine check found that Yoly was now at 7 centimeters, and the anesthesia team came to give Yoly her epidural.
Very quickly, the contractions became more frequent and intense, and before we knew it, Yoly was dilated to 10 centimeters. It was time to push. During each contraction, the nurse told Yoly, “Push 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10. OK, again! Push! 2,3, …Once more! Push 2,3, ….” There would be a 60-90 second period of rest before another contraction would start and the pushing would commence again.
A Problem Arises
Over and over again, Yoly would push, but it soon became apparent the pushing was ineffective. The baby wasn’t seating properly into the pelvis, and it was thought that the baby’s head was hyperextended, not allowing it to move into the birth canal. By this point, Yoly had been pushing for over an hour. She was placed in various positions during the contractions to try to change the baby’s head position but to no avail. Another hour passed.
As Yoly became more and more exhausted, my worry increased and I wondered how much longer she could continue. I then recalled my brother’s words, “Remember this is a sacred moment. Open your heart and take this in.” I have always thought of sacred moments as ones that are relaxed and peaceful and might even include a glimpse of the heavenly, like an angel. For goodness sake, folks bump into angels right and left in scripture.
No Peace and No Angels
However, at that moment, in that labor and delivery room, I felt no peace. No angels appeared. I was simply afraid for the health of my daughter-in-law and my grandson. And soon, the labor and delivery room became increasingly tense as the doctor started saying things about using a vacuum extractor to help pull the baby out, and if that didn’t work, a C- section might be needed. Yoly was saying she wasn’t sure she had the strength to push any more. My fear began to ratchet up.
According to Collins English Dictionary, “Something that is sacred is believed to holy and to have a special connection with God.”
But, to be aware of the sacred is not always so easy when the reality we live in is so physical and so distracting. When experiencing realities like physical pain, illness, injury, worry, or sadness, it can be very difficult to also experience the holy and to feel connected with God.
Mary Magdaline and Jesus
Lent, and particularly Holy Week, is the time when the Christian church remembers Jesus’s death, which is rooted very firmly in the physical. Death by crucifixion is a particularly brutal and tortuous way to die; scripture tells us that Mary Magdalene, a devout follower of Jesus was present during his death and, indeed, had a front row seat to witness this horror.
Mary Magdalene knew how special Jesus was; she heard His preaching and saw His healings. She herself was healed by Jesus. But her devotion to Jesus and her commitment to His teachings went a step further, as she also helped to support His ministry. Clearly, Mary Magdalene loved Jesus, and I can only imagine that she experienced incomprehensible pain and agony watching Him die.
After Jesus died, she watched as His body was carried into a tomb and a stone was placed at the entrance. Three days later, she returned to the tomb to find the stone rolled away. The Gospel of John says, “Mary stood outside the tomb weeping. As she wept, she knelt to look into the tomb and saw two angels sitting there, dressed in white, one at the head, the other at the foot of where Jesus’ body had been laid.” John 20: 11-12
Back in the Delivery Room
Back in the labor and delivery room with all my worries and fears, I prayed, while the doctor and nurses encouraged Yoly, telling her, “You can do this!” Yoly nodded through her exhaustion, and so, with the vacuum extractor’s help and Yoly’s superhuman efforts, Josiah David was born. He weighed a whopping 9 pounds 12 ounces, which answered the question of why Yoly was having so much difficulty birthing this child. They placed Josiah on Yoly’s chest, and I heard the lusty sound of a baby’s cry. I couldn’t get over how impossibly beautiful and perfect my new grandson was. He was, in fact, angelic.
My brother not only urged me to remember that Josiah’s birth was a sacred moment, but to open my heart and take this in. And, I did. I took in all the pain and uncertainty that was part of Josiah’s birth. Likewise, Mary Magdalene’s heart took in all the pain and devastation of Jesus’ death. For, if you wait to experience the sacred only in relaxing and happy situations, unencumbered by worry or pain, your experience of the sacred would be quite limited. Because you never know, you could be entertaining angels and never even know it.
Be not forget to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Hebrews 13: 2
For Reflection (either individually or with a group)
Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Invite the Divine to open your heart to allow the light of new understanding to pierce the shadows of embedded assumptions, stereotypes, and ways of thinking so that you may live more abundantly. Then spend some time with the following questions together with anything or anyone who helps you reflect more deeply.
- Have you ever experienced a sacred moment? What was it and what made it sacred?
- What cand you do to stay open to an experience of the sacred?
- What can you do to help someone else be more aware of the sacred moments in their lives?
Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group.
