“Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.” So says, Bill Nye, the Science Guy.
How do you respond to that quote? Are you curious? Does it make you want to discover what others know that you don’t? Or do you think that it is interesting but it doesn’t really have any meaning for you?
For the past weeks, our bloggers have been writing about Character, Conscience, Consequences and Courage. I’d like to add another “C”, Curiosity.
When you think about curiosity, what comes to mind for you? Perhaps it is the phrase, “Curiosity killed the cat.” But when one thinks about it, what does that really mean? That curiosity is a bad thing?
Fun fact. The phrase was first born in a 1598 play "Every Man in His Humour" by Ben Jonson, where Jonson wrote "care killed a cat". In that usage, "care" meant "nosiness" or worrying. Shakespeare also used a similar phrase in "Much Ado About Nothing" around 1599. No one seems sure how “nosiness” became curiosity but I guess one could equate nosiness with curiosity.
Lust of the Mind
I prefer a different quote about curiosity. “Curiosity is the lust of the mind.” from 17th century philosopher Thomas Hobbes.
Think about it for a minute. Hobbes seems to be saying that Curiosity is a basic human drive. He went on to say, “There is a lust of the mind, that, by a perseverance of delight in the continual and indefatigable generation of knowledge, exceeds the short vehemence of carnal pleasure.”
“…delight in the continual generation of knowledge…” I would make a slight change. Delight in the continual pursuit of knowledge or learning.
For me, pursuit of learning looks like entirely too much time looking at online ebooks and magazines in the Libby library. It means too many Audible books in my electronic library as well as too many paperback and hardback books for which I keep adding bookshelves in my already packed-to-the-rafters apartment.
What about you? As you move through the different stages of your life, are you as curious as you were when you were young? Are you still in pursuit of learning? Do you feel anything when you learn something new?
Research conducted at the UC Davis Center for Neuroscience found that when curiosity is stimulated, areas of the brain associated with reward and motivation become more active.
Several factors can contribute to maintaining or even increasing creativity as we age, including continued engagement in creative activities, learning new things, and maintaining a curious and open mind.
Another Benefit of Curiosity
But there is another benefit to curiosity. While research from the UK showed a decline from early to late adulthood in interpersonal curiosity--a desire to find out information about other people—we can be more intentional and proactive about being curious about others.
It can be helpful to have several comments or questions at the ready that can initiate conversation. One such comment may be mentioning how good a clothing item looks on a person. “I like your shoes. They look so comfortable. May I ask if you got them around here?” Or “That color looks great on you. Is it your favorite color?” At the grocery store, another option might be to comment on something in their cart such as, “I love shrimp but have never eaten that brand. Is it good?” That can then be followed up with a question about how they prepare it or with what else do they normally serve it.
But what if you are meeting someone with whom you would like to have a bit more meaningful or substantive conversation. Then what questions might you ask? It is all too easy to ask someone where they work or what do they do for a living. This can feel a bit shallow or even intrusive.
Alternatively, you might consider something more intriguing such as “What is the best part of your day, if you don’t mind my asking?” or “What is your favorite part of your job?”
Chad Littlefield, Cofounder and Chief Experience Officer at We and Me, Inc. says the message on his phone when asking people to leave a message is “I have a smartphone so I probably know the number where I can reach you so instead why don’t you tell me what is bringing you joy!”
And he says people do it. They tell him what brings them joy. I think this is an awesome “get acquainted” question. You will, however, want to be prepared to answer the question yourself as I have found people will often respond by saying, you tell me what brings YOU joy?
I recently asked my seatmate on a Southwest flight this very question. She was quick to answer that singing brings her joy. I asked several follow-up questions and discovered she sang in a Fleetwood Mac tribute band. So interesting.
And here’s another great part about this type of interpersonal curiosity. Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Asking questions—authentic curiosity—lets people know you see them, lets them feel seen and heard. In our busy world, that’s a rarity.
So what topics are you curious to know more about? (I should research better grammar for that sentence 😊). Is it something in the arts, in business, in health, in the sciences, in parenting, in travel or history or in some other area? What steps might you take to learn more?
Accumulating evidence suggests that curiosity may actually play a critical role in maintaining cognitive functioning, wellbeing and physical health in older adults. What do you want to do to be more intentionally curious? Make a plan and I pray you feel the rewards.
For Reflection (either individually or with a group)
Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Invite the Divine to open your heart to allow the light of new understanding to pierce the shadows of embedded assumptions, stereotypes, and ways of thinking so that you may live more abundantly. Then spend some time with the following questions together with anything or anyone who helps you reflect more deeply.
- Do you believe curiosity can help you age more abundantly? Why or why not?
- What other introductory questions might you use to get to know someone?
- About what topics are you curious?
