Many years ago, I knew a woman I’ll call Lorraine who saw herself as generous. She and her husband often took the pastor and spouse out to dinners they would not have been able to afford. She brought small wrapped gifts to the women’s group—one for each person. She helped her widowed mother and sister with things for their home. In the congregation, people assumed Lorraine and her husband were among the church’s most generous supporters.
And yet, something about her giving felt uneasy. The dinners seemed to come with expectations. The gifts were items no one needed but everyone felt obliged to accept. Her help to family was not exactly private; it seemed important that others know what she had done. Over time, it became clearer that Lorraine’s giving was not simply about meeting another person’s need. It was more about being seen as generous, gaining influence, and maintaining a certain kind of power.
When others declined her gifts or questioned the pattern, Lorraine felt offended. After all, she was “just being generous.” But generosity with strings attached is something else. True generosity seeks the good of the receiver. It does not require gratitude, obligation, admiration, or control in return.
We often link generosity to monetary engagement. But generosity doesn’t have to be limited to the sharing of wealth. This is a connection that lies in the etymology of the word going back to the 16th century when it was linked to being of noble or aristocratic birth. (https://generosityresearch.nd.edu/more-about-the-initiative/what-is-generosity/) Even into the 18th century, “generosity” had evolved to being kind in the giving of money and things to others. Generosity eventually did not depend on the family one was born into but became a quality to which anyone could ascribe.
But “generosity” as something we can all work on is far older than the origins of the English word suggest. In the first letter to Timothy 6:17-19, Paul, presumably the author, is writing to Timothy to encourage him in ministry. From Peterson’s version of the biblical text:
”Tell them (the rich—those who have more than what they need) to go after God, who piles on all the riches we could ever manage—to do good, to be rich in helping others, to be extravagantly generous.”
Generosity is the opposite of holding our earthly treasures for ourselves. It is not about a closed hand clinging to things to possess, but an open hand letting go of those things. It is about doing good, helping others, meeting the needs of the larger community and being extravagantly generous.
When I think of generous people I have known there are several who come to mind. My grandma Ruth had a generous spirit although she had little worldly possessions or wealth. One of the stories from her childhood occurred during the time that her father served a local congregation where the parsonage was connected to the church. One Sunday she noticed money on the kitchen table, and she generously used it to buy ice cream for her friends. She soon found out that that had been the offering from the Sunday School and it was not hers to give. She learned that you can’t be generous with things that are not yours to give. But she did continue throughout her life to stay connected to friends and neighbors and be attuned to how she could offer what she had to support others and spread joy.
Although our own happiness or joy may not be the primary reason, these can be a significant factor in our generosity. I know more than one person who has decided to be generous with their money later in life rather than waiting for their savings to be distributed after their death. They take great joy in seeing how their monetary gifts to others, whether that be to grandchildren or organizations, can help to meet needs that exist now. Their generosity is not to call attention to themselves. Their generosity provides them the opportunity to meet needs that exist now and see the relief and joy that their gifts provide.
In the gospel of Mark (4:24-25) Jesus is teaching from a boat in the Sea of Galilee. It is relatively early on in his ministry. After the parable about the seeds being planted in the different soil, he talks about generosity. “Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.” Today we would probably say that the dopamine “hit” that comes from the good feeling when we give and help others’ helps to fuel generosity and the next release of dopamine! But generosity often does lead to more giving, being more generous.
There are all kinds of reasons why people are generous. Some are self-promoting. Others are more altruistic. The generosity that is a part of one’s spirit is the ability to give from what we have to help meet the needs of others. It is connected to the desire to contribute to the community. And it doesn’t have to be monetary or transactional.
Whether we are giving from the financial resources at our disposal or from the time and attention that we share with others, generosity is a quality of character that anyone can adopt for their own lives. And when we do, we can relish the extravagant joy that reinforces our desire to contribute to the greater good around us again and again.
May we all find ways to be generous of spirit, giving in the ways that we can, to meet the needs in the communities around us. May we experience the joy of giving. And may we be mindful of those who are generous around us as they contribute as they are able with the gifts they can give. May we all be extravagantly generous!