Mentorship can shape a vocation in ways we rarely recognize at the beginning. In this reflection, Rev. Dr. Kenneth Daniel shares how one trusted pastor’s guidance influenced his early ministry, nonprofit leadership, and later work in senior living.
A First Call and a Frank Conversation
After graduating seminary, I began the arduous process of finding my first call as pastor. I finally identified a congregation of serious interest. Their profile provided a name of a local pastor who was supporting them in their search. His name was Howard and had served as a senior pastor in this city for over thirty years. As we got acquainted, Howard shared the opportunities and particular challenges of this congregation. Lovely people. Interested in mission and youth. An older group, eager for a new pastor. Their previous pastor had retired after twenty-seven years of service there. Howard knew of some personal and congregational issues over that pastor’s long tenure. He didn’t sugar coat what he knew.
We discussed the challenges of following a long tenured pastor. There would be high expectations for new ideas. And probably a low tolerance for change. Many patterns that had been set would need to be evaluated and possibly improved. Probably there will be conflicts. It would be all new to me, of course. I should mention that I was 26 years old.
Finally, after a frank conversation, I asked, “Howard, you know this situation. Would you recommend that a newly minted pastor take this church as his first call?” After a few seconds of silence, Howard replied, “No, I wouldn’t.” I took a breath. I liked the people I met. They seemed enthusiastic. But now it was my turn to reflect. Before I replied, Howard then added, “But if you feel called to this congregation, I will support you every step of the way.”
The Gift of a Mentor
I didn’t know at the time that this simple offer would change my ministry and even my life. As a highly respected and experienced pastor, Howard became my mentor. We met regularly to discuss those challenges he outlined and many more. Indeed, as a young pastor with a lot to learn, the most important lesson was this: I needed mentoring more than I knew.
Howard had those qualities that a good mentor can offer. He offered me the benefit of his experiences, his own bumps and bruises navigating parish ministry for over a generation in this town. Although I had grown up in a similar city, this town was more conservative, traditional, and taciturn. At times, I needed Howard’s experience to guide me out of inadvertent dips into hot water if not catastrophic missteps.
He also opened his personal life to me. As a single person, I had few friends in the area. Working as a pastor left little time to meet people. I experienced loneliness that compounded the normal stresses of ministry. Howard introduced me to his family and invited me to many dinners and coffee klatches where I could just be myself, share a glass of wine, and relax. He invited me to attend the local symphony with him and his wife and introduced me to others in his circle of acquaintances, some closer in age. I began to feel that loneliness dissipate as I put down new roots.
A Door into Senior Living Leadership
Finally, Howard saw something in me that I didn’t know was there. He served on the board of our denominational senior living ministry in the area. While living in our town, I served on a subsidiary board with Howard planning a whole new retirement community nearby. But one day, the CEO called me to a meeting with Howard. They had identified me as a possible candidate to take a staff position managing a recently built life care residential building on the main campus about an hour away.
I had been serving my church for over seven years by then. In the meantime, I had married (another local pastor) and just had a newborn child. Howard had recommended me for this job. While not parish ministry directly, this job involved working with a lot of people, leading a staff, and joining an exciting form of ministerial work I had never known about.
I remember telling Howard and the CEO that I had no training, no business classes or other preparation. The CEO said, “we will teach you the business. We need your people skills in this setting. And there will be more opportunities to grow and lead in the future with us.” In fact, I worked for over 19 years in that organization. Then I moved on to several other leadership roles in other nonprofits. The culmination of my career came when I served as president and CEO of United Church Homes from 2011 to 2025.
Throughout it all, I carried the wisdom and confidence gained from my mentor, Howard. Though I had other mentors over the years, Howard’s love and wisdom sustained my heart. Later in life, Howard was admitted to the nursing center where I was the administrator responsible for overseeing his care. Our friendship had lasted over twenty years. I was with him when he breathed his last, accompanying him on the final leg of his earthly journey. His wisdom lives on in me.
Wisdom Passed On
Today I serve as a volunteer mentor for a new generation progressing through the middle years of their careers in nonprofit senior living organizations. I find myself channeling some of the wisdom I learned from Howard long ago—trust your heart, lead with integrity, listen and provide honest feedback, never give up. With Howard’s tutelage, I have accumulated a lot more wisdom. Mentorship remains one of the quietest and most enduring gifts we offer in ministry, nonprofit leadership, and senior living. In a way, there’s a circle that has become complete, generation to generation.
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Learn more about the impact of cross-generational relationships at this year’s Abundant Aging Symposium: Intergenerational Connections on October 16 at the Quest Conference Center and streamed online with virtual registration.
Visit https://www.unitedchurchhomes.org/blog/2026-abundant-aging-symposium/ for more information and to register!
The Symposium on Intergenerational Connection will bring together thought leaders, practitioners, advocates, and community members for a day of learning, inspiration, and networking focused on strengthening relationships across generations.