Our tears carry a message of pain and sorrow; loss and fear; love and lost love. They are our body’s way of discharging the energy that collects around any pain we are experiencing. Pain, felt or experienced Is a signal of the need for change and our inability to effectively enact that change. Pain is our body’s way of stirring us into action. Tears are the signal to initiate words and behaviors to address that pain and/or frustration.
Loss is deeply connected to pain, physical or emotional. In either case we are caught in cycles of fear and anxiety that are often overwhelming, automatically interfering with our productivity.
The Message of Our Tears
The message of our tears is simple and direct. “I hurt”.
I am emotionally ““injured” with no way to control the pain. And I don’t have the capacity to change my circumstances or my behavior. My body and spirit receive that signal and frantically enter an action mode to control it. Our tears release that energy into the heart where the pain is felt and acknowledged.
The “system” is unblocked and opened to alternative actions and behaviors to change the system. Our tears are the signal that something is wrong and we need to address the situation immediately.
It is a nearly perfect system which springs into action when circumstances demand it. We have a choice to choose an action or retreat into passivity. And passivity only increases our discomfort and helplessness thereby making it a “non-Choice”.
When our tears enter the situation, they immediately become change agents of reality. Easily solved problems do not create tears. Tears enter the scene through the doors of fear and frustration. I cannot change or fix this situation. I am helpless. Change enters the doors of actions and new behaviors.
The Miracle of Our Tears
Our tears are so visible; so powerful and so compelling that they do not allow us to ignore or walk away from a problem. They call us into action with renewed energy BECAUSE tears carry a message of immediate need. They are the oil of pain and the power of change.
In the past, males in our culture of activity and action were given strong messages of behaviors required of males in today’s world. Tears were not OK for boys or men. Strength and power were acceptable ways of expression. Anything less was seen as inappropriate or non-manly.
Gratefully, we have been trying to give boys and men permission to express a range of behaviors which encourage and support the growth opportunities of adulthood.
As these behaviors become part of today’s male culture, they automatically encourage interactions with other males and females which are growth enhancing and life changing. They are the key to strengthening the role of men in our society as partners and not competitors.
Their message to the next generation of males is one of connections and strength. It is an encouragement to explore new models of masculinity and power that are essential to the survival of the world--a moment in time when new life can become a new reality.
For Reflection (either individually or with a group)
Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Invite the Divine to open your heart to allow the light of new understanding to pierce the shadows of embedded assumptions, stereotypes, and ways of thinking so that you may live more abundantly. Then spend some time with the following questions together with anything or anyone who helps you reflect more deeply.
Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group.