I have had the privilege and joy of two careers. After God called me into ministry, God gently reminded me I wasn’t quite finished yet. Waiting in the wings was an opportunity to earn a Ph.D. in psychology and combine two careers into an amazing opportunity to speak with and learn from people who were engaged in the growth of their minds and spirits.
It was a powerful and beautiful time to learn about the Presence of God in the healing process.
There are two characters in this story. Tom* was one of my patients who had suffered a long and complicated life. But thanks to a wonderful AA program, he was beginning to heal from his alcoholism. The therapy process and God’s healing presence brought relief from the emotional pain that had powerfully limited his entire life.
The other character in this story was my three-year-old grandson named Mikey who visited my husband and me every Wednesday while his mother and dad were at work. In one of those healing acts of God, Tom and Mikey met every Wednesday in the waiting room of my office when Tom came over for his appointment and Mikey came over while his mother and dad were working so we could provide childcare and love.
While I was seeing Tom, Mikey played with my husband in our family room. But for a few moments every Wednesday, Tom and Mikey had a chance to greet each other in my waiting room before Tom started his appointment.
Neither had much to say to the other and I didn’t think much about their interaction until I began to realize that something was happening in those few moments in the waiting room while they were together. Nothing dramatic was occurring but Tom started to ask questions about Mikey in our session and I realized the amazing connection they shared.
A Story of Pain
When Tom was three-years-old, he was afflicted with near-fatal asthma and every summer he was sent, alone--without his mother and dad--to a facility in Arizona for children with serious asthma for the entire summer. Each fall he would return to Arizona until he was in high school. He lived in a boarding house for children with serious asthma with no emotional support at all. It was as lonely an existence as I could imagine.
Tom grew into a man with an alcohol problem and an empty life that grew worse with each passing year. His asthma was managed but his spirit was lost in those years of loneliness and grief.
When Tom met Mikey in my waiting room, he encountered a child who lived in a loving home and came to be with his loving grandparents every week and who had never suffered the emotional deprivation Tom had endured. Tom was curious about Mikey and Mikey was friendly but not especially interested in who Tom was. But God was also in that waiting room. And God is always the God of the lonely and the deprived.
Their conversation was simple. Tom would say hello to Mikey and Mikey would say hello in response. Tom would ask how Mikey was doing. And Mikey would say “fine”. And that was the extent of their formal conversation.
A Miracle Begins
The miracle started when Tom began to inquire about Mikey’s life in our session and the emptiness of his life stood in sharp contrast to his new three-year-old friend whose life had no empty places.
And Tom saw how empty his life had been in contrast to the fullness of his new friend’s life. The deprivation of his spirit reached out to connect to the fullness of Mikey’s spirit. The care I could give him in our therapy began to fill some of his emptiness. The constancy of the therapeutic process opened doors of trust that had been lost in his loneliness.
And because I am also an ordained minister, I opened the door to my small church community and invited Tom to come in. The church community opened their hearts and arms to Tom and Love entered Tom’s life for the first time.
But the true healer was a three-year-old boy named Mikey. In seeing what he entirely missed in his life, Tom also saw, with unexpected clarity, what he needed in his life: caring people, a loving environment, and the simplicity and constancy of God.
And God was there to love and heal him.
*Patient name was changed.
For Reflection (either individually or with a group)
Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases.
Then spend some time with the following questions with anything that helps you reflect more deeply. Take the questions for a walk in the woods or in your neighborhood, for a swim or a run or for a hot soak in the tub. Invite the questions to join you for tea or coffee.
- When have you had a chance meeting with someone that led to unexpected clarity?
- How can you be more open to the possibility of divine grace from a stranger?
- How can you be a source of abundant grace to the people with whom you cross paths every day: service workers, neighbors, work colleagues, faith community employees, and even your family?
Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group.
