I might as well just come right out and say it--sometimes I am a grumpy Christian. For the most part, no one knows except God, who is, sadly, all too aware. My face to the world is, I hope, one of compassion and kindness with a healthy dose of humor thrown in. However, there are times when my inner dialogue goes something like this, “Do I really have to do that, God? Really? I don’t want to help, be kind, or be inconvenienced right now. I’m busy and I’m tired, and I just don’t want to, God!” Just picture a typical 13-year-old, and you will get a clearer picture of my inner turmoil.
I can trace my inner Christian Oscar the Grouch back to my early 20’s when I decided to become a follower of Christ. My husband, John, had gotten a job as the choir director at Fairview Grace United Methodist Church in Fairview Park, Ohio. So, for the first time since I was 14 years old, I began to attend church regularly. Mind you, Fairview Grace was a plain old mainline United Methodist Church. Led by Reverend Bob Remington, worship in the simple yet beautiful sanctuary was a relatively quiet affair. With Evelyn at the organ bench and John at the helm of the choir, the service always held my attention.
There were no altar calls, and as far as I can recall, Rev. Remington never preached of “being saved.” His sermons were relaxed and heartfelt as he reflected on the gospel lesson for the day. Little by little, I began to hear about who Jesus was, what he said, and how he lived His life. And as I learned more about this Jewish man who lived over 2000 years ago, I became more and more intrigued. I was also motivated to do some study on my own, and there came a point that I had a decision to make. Should I become a follower of Jesus or not?
A Big Decision
This was no instantaneous conversion, but a decision I wrestled with over several angst-filled months. Why was I so undecided? Well, folks, it’s because I had read the fine print. I knew what becoming a follower of Jesus meant, and I was worried that I simply couldn’t do it. Between the parables and that pesky Sermon on the Mount, Jesus makes the character of God abundantly clear. He also makes it clear that we are to try to emulate that character.
You don’t have to read very far into any of the gospels to see that the bar of how we are to treat others as well as ourselves is very high. We are to forgive even those who frankly don’t deserve our forgiveness. We are to journey with and love all those who need our help, even those who are irritating and difficult. In fact, we are to go out of our way to help those in need even when we are busy and it’s inconvenient. We are to love living things--people, animals, and our planet--more than material things. My goodness, there is just so much fine print!
My 24-year-old-self wondered how in the world could I manage to do all that? I would get caught up in specific situations that I came upon. One day, as I was driving, I saw an older man struggling to put up a sign in the lawn for a garage sale. He was having such a difficult time, I stopped to help. That day, I had a few extra minutes so it was no hardship to stop. But, what if I was hurrying to an important doctor appointment? What should I do then? What would God expect me to do? Ridiculous, I know. But at the time, I was sincerely trying to figure out how to live my life using Jesus for guidance.
As time went on and it became glaringly apparent that I was going to drive myself (and possibly God) nuts, I began to try to just live my life as though I had said, “Yes, I will follow You.” There wasn’t any single point at which I made the decision. There was no one moment of clarity, and there certainly was no spiritual high. I would have several profound “God moment” experiences later in my life, when I felt the power of God’s love so acutely that I would be on a spiritual high for days. But that was in the future. At 24, I was just trying to wrap my head around the idea of using Jesus’s teachings as my “true north,” my firm foundation for how to interact with the world.
What is Important to God
Looking back at that time, I smile at my younger self’s earnestness as well as my irritation at the blasted “fine print” that so bedeviled me and sometimes still does. But I’m proud that my younger self took the time to think seriously about how Jesus lived His life and how He instructed us to live our own lives, because our character is important to God. How we treat our family, friends and everyone else in our small world is important to God. How we show up to support each other in the never-ending quest for peace and justice is important to God. Who we claim as friends and who we vote for is important to God. How we live every aspect of our lives is important to God.
Rev. Remington once preached this very idea to a group of confirmands. His hope for them was that others could simply know, by their actions towards their teachers, their classmates, the person ringing up their groceries, “that young person is a Christian.” It reminds me of the words of Saint Francis of Assisi: “Preach the Gospel. Use words if necessary.” Because, as followers of Christ, we do preach the gospel every moment of our lives. Our character is always on display, whether we want it to be or not. These days, I am far less worried about getting it “right” and far more interested in simply doing my best. But I hope that as I live out my days, with my character on full display, others might look at me and say, “Do you know Lisa Thomas? I can tell she is a Christian.”
For Reflection (either individually or with a group)
Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Invite the Divine to open your heart to allow the light of new understanding to pierce the shadows of embedded assumptions, stereotypes, and ways of thinking so that you may live more abundantly. Then spend some time with the following questions together with anything or anyone who helps you reflect more deeply.
Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group.