As I quickly approach the age of 60, just a few short months away, I seem to be asked quite often these days “When are you going to retire? Are you going to work until 62, or 65, maybe 67, or wait for your full retirement at 70?”
When I promptly give them my answer of “I’m not going to retire. Why would I want to do that?” the look that appears on their faces is quite humorous. Their eyes get wide, the jaw drops a bit and of course there is the infamous head tilt of confusion.
The person asking the question usually responds with “Why wouldn’t you want to do that. Do you want to work for the rest of your life?” What they don’t seem to understand is yes, I do want to do just that. I am completely serious about my answer of “Why would I want to do that?”
I am fourth in line of my parents five children. I have three brothers who are older than me (and retired) and a younger sister who runs her own business and has plans to retire in the next year. So that leaves me, the last sibling to remain in the work force. My siblings and I were raised with a strong work ethic which was “you show up at work unless you are dead or dying.” And I raised my son with that same understanding.
I Honestly Like to Work
It wasn’t until I began to approach this magic age of 60 that retirement, for me, ever entered my mind. Well let me rephrase. I have managed to save a bit for retirement but quite honestly, it never seriously entered my mind until people began asking me “When are you going to retire?” It is, to me, a very annoying question only because I cannot get people to understand that I honestly like to work.
I have been doing it since I was 16 years old when I began my work career as a nurse’s aide, an HR Administrative Assistant at 19, an ordained minister at 47 where I continue that work in two local churches, and now have added Chaplain to my workforce resume. Who knows, maybe I’ll be President one day. The point of my babbling on is this. My life plan is to continue working, or at the very least volunteering my time for the good of others, or maybe both, until I physically cannot do it anymore.
Is the Question Ageist?
It wasn’t until I began working for United Church Homes as a Chaplain that I began to truly understand the ageism behind the question. The assumption that I should have retirement on my mind because I am near the magic age of 60 is, well, ludicrous. It just makes my hair turn gray every time I am asked. AND what’s wrong with gray hair? I take great pride in these gray hairs on my head. I earned every one of them and I’m showing the world.
Yes, I may have aches and pains once in a while, yes I may occasionally forget where I put my purse or my glasses, yes I may have to stop and think about why I got out of my chair and entered the other room once in a while, but don’t count me out yet. I still have value and worth in the world and the workforce.
The Danger of Internal Ageism
But what really hurts my heart is that I have suddenly realized the ageism within myself. I continuously asked my dad the very same question asked of me. “Dad when are you going to retire?” It never occurred to me that even after 60 plus years of working, my Dad actually liked to work. What I wanted for him was to be happy and healthy and free from the daily drag of a job. What I didn’t realize at the time, but it is crystal clear to me now, is that his work wasn’t a drag on his life. His work was his meaning, his purpose, and a major part of his identity in his life.
And I was trying to take it away because of my love for him. Dad, I am so sorry I ever asked that ageist question and I’m sorry that it took this stage in my own life to truly understand your answer “Why would I want to do that?” I am older, hopefully wiser, and though it took me awhile (you know I always learned things the hard way), I get it. I love you Dad.
To learn more about options for post-retirement success and how to begin preparing even prior to finishing your primary career, join us in person or online for the 2024 Abundant Aging Symposium, Purpose, Meaning and Redefining Retirement on October 4th. Discounts on registration before September 9th.
For Reflection (either individually or with a group)
Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Invite the Divine to open your heart to allow the light of new understanding to pierce the shadows of embedded assumptions, stereotypes, and ways of thinking so that you may live more abundantly.
- If you have finished working in your primary career, are you content with the decisions you have made about how to spend your time?
- If you have not yet finished working in your primary career, what are your plans for the next chapter when you ultimately do decide to finish your primary career?
- What do you believe God is calling you to do when you have additional free time? Why?
Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group.
