I’ve never aged in a conventional way. I’m 41, and I find myself living a life that doesn’t quite fit the expected rhythms of age and stage. But honestly? I’m thankful for that. While my journey hasn’t followed a traditional script, it’s been rich—full of love, experience, and, most importantly, faith. To me, that is the very essence of abundant aging.
As a child, I was drawn to older adults. While other kids sat with their friends at church, I gravitated toward the wisdom of those who had more years behind them than ahead. When my parents invited families over to play cards, I joined in with the adults. My mom often called me “an old soul,” a label that felt like a badge of honor. I found something comforting in their stories—tales of resilience, love and faith that shaped my worldview. Unknowingly, these early connections taught me to value aging and this perspective became the foundation for the life I’d later lead.
In college, I met Nathan. He was nearly 13 years older than me, returning to school after a long-decorated military career, carrying the weight of divorce and loneliness. I was just beginning my academic journey, wide-eyed and eager, when our paths crossed.
Raising Teenagers and a Newborn
I married Nathan at 23, became a stepmom to his three children and, two years later, a mom to our son, Jude. Suddenly I was co-raising teenagers and a newborn, a role far removed from a typical 20-something experience. But it never felt strange to me—it felt like my calling, a life I embraced with open arms.
Now, at 41, I find myself in yet another unconventional season. A mother to a vibrant 16-year-old, and a grandmother—“Lolly”—to five grandchildren. My days are a whirlwind of basketball games, late-night talks with Jude about high school life, and joyful moments playing pretend or attending dance recitals with the babies. It’s chaotic, beautiful and nothing like I imagined at this age. The tug between these seasons is real—t-ball games clashing with academic assemblies, dance recitals on the same nights as out-of-town basketball tournaments, forcing me to make tough choices. I’ve missed moments with my grandbabies because Jude needs me present, and those trade-offs can sting. Yet, I’ve learned to navigate this with humor, an organized calendar, a strong cup of coffee and good laughs with my husband. Only those who can find humor in the chaos, can truly thrive.
Joy Beyond Circumstance
Through it all, I’ve held onto a joy that transcends circumstance—a joy rooted in my faith in Jesus. Abundant aging, to me, isn’t about fitting society’s timeline or hitting milestones in the “right” order. It’s about embracing the life God has for us, finding gratitude and purpose in every chapter. Ephesians 2:10 reminds us, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” This scripture speaks to the unique path I’ve walked, a path prepared with purpose, even when it diverged from the norm.
I believe abundant aging is inseparable from aging faithfully. Choosing joy—not because life is flawless, but because God is—has been my strength. When exhaustion crept in from raising Jude alongside stepchildren, or when anxiety flared from balancing it all, The Lord sustained me. Nehemiah 8:10, “The joy of the Lord is your strength.”
This joy deepens when I open my heart to God’s plan. My life may not mirror others’—marrying into an established family, becoming an early grandmother—but it’s good. Psalm 16:11 affirms this: “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” That fullness—that abundant life—is what I experience daily with Nathan after 19 years, with Jude thriving in high school, and with my grandchildren filling my world with love. It’s not always glamorous; the struggles make the victories sweeter. If every day were sunny, we’d miss the beauty of the rain.
So, whether you’re aging traditionally or walking a path uniquely your own, know this: joy is still to be had. Purpose is still unfolding. And a deeply meaningful, faith-filled life is available to you at every age and in every season—no matter the order of the chapters.
For Reflection (either individually or with a group)
Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Invite the Divine to open your heart to allow the light of new understanding to pierce the shadows of embedded assumptions, stereotypes, and ways of thinking so that you may live more abundantly. Then spend some time with the following questions together with anything or anyone who helps you reflect more deeply.
- How have you life taken a more traditional road or have there been unexpected paths?
- Has your faith life changed during unexpected times?
- Where have you found joy beyond circumstances in the unexpected times?
Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group.
Blog courtesy of The Center for Abundant Aging, promoting the riches of Abundant Aging;
advocating for an inclusive society that conquers ageism; and
delivering education and resources to transform how we think about elderhood.
Blog: Copyright 2025, Ashley Bills, All Rights Reserved. Photo courtesy of author.
